i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
