I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
