i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
