The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
