Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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