i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize