Hey man sorry I got all grabby
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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