I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
