Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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