Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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