i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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