She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
