He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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