okay pat passed out under dana's car
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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