I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
