You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize