Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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