I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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