my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
