where am i from again
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
