Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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