So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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