:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
