You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
