dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
