If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
