You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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