No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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