dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
vagina is talking i cant
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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