About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
