I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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