The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
