I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
