you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
