i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The Olympian is in my bed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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