I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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