i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
