No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
