I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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