If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
