We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
A+ Viking dick
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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