i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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