My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
