i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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