just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
try to milk me bitch
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