I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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