She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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