I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
