Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it because I queefed?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
