In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
