what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
