and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
