i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
