Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
