Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
