im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
