This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
