Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
