That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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