yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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