Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
