Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
