can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
