Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think i have herpe
just one?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
