I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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