i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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