remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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