Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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