I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she told me i tasted like america
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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